Judgmental Mom (pt. 2)

(You can find my first blog on facing this struggle here: Curiosity > Judgment.)

I find myself observing much more as a parent when I’m out and about. Kids seem to be everywhere these days or maybe I just default to the areas (parks, playgrounds, etc) that attract families.

A park that Gus and I have been to a couple times is right next to a daycare. Both times we’ve been there the kids have swarmed Gus and couldn’t get enough of his cuteness. (Can you even blame them?) Seeing them interact with each other got me thinking.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have preconceived notions about kids in daycare. My mom and sister worked in daycare for many years. I heard their sad stories of kids being dropped up at 7 AM and not being picked up till 6 PM. It broke my heart and cemented my decision of being a stay-at-home-mom. I hate to confess that I had thoughts of superiority because I’m able to stay home with my kid therefore giving him a better advantage and head start in life.

Gus and I go to the library for storytime twice a week. It’s a great half hour of songs, stories, and interacting with other kids his age. I’d be lying again if I said I didn’t dread a kid or two that comes regularly. I’m annoyed by the way they push in front of Gus to get to the bubbles or the way they whine when we’re trying to hear the story. I take way too much pride in the way that my laid-back kid sits on my lap and patiently waits his turn for the bubbles to come to him. I pride myself in talking calmly to him and trying to explain that we need to all take turns. He hasn’t thrown a fit yet, further boosting my mom-pride.

When I reflect back on these thoughts I sometimes wonder why God gave me a kid in the first place. I don’t deserve to raise another human being with these thoughts occupying my mind.

But then I’m reminded that parenting is more about grace than almost anything else. I’m sure those kids at daycare have parents who love them more than I could imagine and whose hearts break when they drop them off so early in the morning. I guarantee you that some of those parents would give up anything to not have to be away from their kid for 10+ hours a day. Maybe those whiny kids at story time are teething or just having a rough day like we all face once in a while. I’m sure the moms that are chasing them around would give anything to just sit and listen for a few minutes.

When I acknowledge the second that it takes to inhale a deep breath and be curious instead of judgemental I see these different perspectives. Unfortunately I’m the type of person that rushes through everything, causing me to jump to conclusions before considering any other possibilities. It’s a fault that I’m struggling with daily.

That’s why I’m so thankful that parenting is also about the faithfulness of God. Without Him reminding me of my own faults that don’t make me perfect, I’d be stuck up on my throne of superiority without a second thought to how others are feeling around me. I’m so thankful that’s not the case. He gives me a daily dose of the humble pill to remind me that we’re all in need of love, grace, and the warm embrace of a loving Savior.