Curiosity > Judgment

“Be curious, not judgemental.” - Walt Whitman

I’ve heard several people quote this in different scenarios (my favorite is this clip from Ted Lasso) , but each time it strikes a chord with me. If I’m being honest and this is going to be terrifying...

I am very judgmental.

I think it all began when I was younger and was taught that people that didn’t go to church, didn’t abide by a certain set of rules, maybe dressed differently, or lived a different lifestyle than me were somehow “less” or not as “equal” in society's eyes.

It got so bad that even to this day I judge total strangers in the car in front of me simply because of some bumper sticker that I might not agree with. I judge other moms who parent their kids differently than I do. I judge people who don’t seem to have it all together. I judge people by what they say or what they don’t say. I judge people by an unseen set of rules that I’ve somehow made up in my own mind.

It’s truly terrifying to put all of this out on the great world wide web for everyone to see what I believe is one of my greatest flaws, but I’m sick and tired of living in this vicious cycle of judgment so it’s time to come clean.

The first time I heard the above quote by Walt Whitman it struck me across the face like the slap I needed to wake me up. It turned me around and reminded me that I have absolutely no room to point fingers at someone’s splinter in their eye when I have an entire beam sticking out of mine (Matthew 7:3-5). Remember that saying we’d say as kids when someone was pointing at us? “When you point one finger at me, you’ve got three pointing back at yourself!” Oh the truth and honesty of children!

If I’m completely honest, it’s a daily, no a minute-by-minute, struggle to become curious about someone’s situation versus jumping immediately to my own judgments and conclusions. Maybe it’s a bit of a superiority complex that has been building upon itself over the years. No matter what a psychologist might call it, I know it’s a problem that needs to be remedied.

When you become a parent you quickly realize that your kids begin imitating you way too quickly. Even now my little boy who is barely 9 months old imitates many sounds that we make. Before I know it, he’ll be copying the words I say. He loves watching everything I do and sooner than I’d like, he’ll copy the not-so-great character traits that I’ve developed.

It’s time now to teach myself to be more curious rather than judgmental so that someday I can pass it on to my son and not repeat the cycle of judgment that I’ve been struggling with for way too many years.

Finally, I want to openly apologize to anyone who has ever felt judged by me. We’re all patients in need of the ultimate Healer, and sometimes I’ve had to go back for multiple open heart surgeries to have Him continue changing me over and over again. I couldn’t be more thankful for HIs enduring and everlasting patience, mercy, faithfulness, and grace when I deserve so much worse.

Thank you to those closest to me who have been the patience in my life guiding and leading me along the way.

May we all take the time today to be a little more curious, and a lot less judgemental.